On New Years Day, countless people everywhere post how amazing the past year was for them. Their accomplishments, adventures and successes which all equal up to one of the best years of their lives. I am probably not the only one who thinks this is complete and utter bullshit. In the past, when I looked back at my year I usually pitied myself, all I could remember was the awful things that happened to me. This overshadowed any good that might have happened because it wasn’t quite as good as everyone elses. I compared my life to the pictures I saw on Instagram, which at the age of 19 I should really know better. 2018 was different from the other years though. Last January I was in Europe, ending my first real adventure without my parents by my side, I was coming home. Which I couldn’t wait to do, I was beyond excited to sleep in my own bed and have my own room back again. This could go off into a whole other story, but that is a post for another time. When I got home I didn’t have a job, school or responsibilities, I spent my days sleeping late and doing absolutely nothing, I felt nothing. I found it hard to eat and do everyday things like brushing my teeth. I had slipped into a depression. All I wanted was to wither away into nothing, I didn’t want to exist. That final thought terrified me, so I pulled all of my will together and called my doctor, booked an appointment and got a prescription for antidepressants. I then proceeded to cry in my car. Nobody knew how much I was struggling, even with a world that told me that what I was feeling was ok, I was ashamed. But slowly, I told my parents, my friends and I got better. I got a job, went on a mother/ daughter trip to Orlando Disney; which was incredible. Got a tattoo, quit my job, got another job, got another tattoo and my life was actually looking up. I was happy. When I look back on the past year I know it wasn’t the best year of my life, but it was a good one. I learnt more things than I thought and I can’t wait to see what this next year brings because I have a feeling it is going to be life changing. My concluding statement is this, look back at the past year, the good, the bad and know that you made it. And that you are pretty freaking awesome.
Sunset in Epcot, Disney.
Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Utrecht, The Netherlands
New friend I made back home in Canada
Proof I laughed in 2018